Escape from Perfection Prison

Isn't it time to be patient and supportive of yourself the way you would an innocent child?

If I could wave a magic wand to improve just one aspect of my life and all those I love, it would be this: to never again get trapped in the torment of perfectionism!

And yes, I would do that for you, too, if you want ;-) After all, what a wonderful way to live, right? Think about how it would feel if all of us could completely silence that inner critic and never again struggle with the resulting inner turmoil. Life would be filled with such ease and joy. Wouldn’t that feel delicious?

Well, I don’t have a magic wand for you today. Here’s what I can offer you … a few things I’ve learned to help me release myself from Perfection Prison when I inadvertently land there.

You know what I mean by Perfection Prison, right?

• Perfection Prison is when you don’t think you’re thin enough, successful enough, rich enough, smart enough, or good enough in some other way, to deserve the happiness you deeply desire.

• Perfection Prison is when you are more concerned about whether your house or car (outer things) measure up to other people’s standards, than you are with inner peace and true happiness.

• Perfection Prison is when you have let yourself become so addicted to other people’s approval that you have lost sight of what matters to you in relationships, your work, or anything else.

Now, if you’re honest, I think you will have to admit that you fall into at least one of those imprisoned states at least occasionally. I mean, really, can we be fully engaged in the human experience without getting trapped there once in a while? I haven’t met anyone perfectly perfect, have you?

Despite our best efforts, and regardless of our wisdom, we are bombarded with messages from the world (and often, people we love deeply or who matter a great deal in our lives) that are trying to convince us that we have no choice! A great consensus of people in the world believe you must please others more than you focus on your own happiness. They try to intimidate us into thinking we don’t deserve to be loved or achieve happiness unless we look like a model or fitness guru, have huge amounts of money in the bank at all times, and can spout brilliant statements that prove our intelligence and outstanding career achievements in every waking moment. What a lot of nonsense! Who could possibly live up to those standards? Life is constantly evolving and expanding, it’s a messy thing … but it’s also glorious in the moments when we trust that natural expansion, the flow of energy that is growth and Life itself.

Let yourself off the hook. Open the door to this self-imprisonment you mistakenly fell into. Walk out of that jail cell in your mind and never look back.

Decide for yourself what your standard of happiness will be, and stop letting people tell you anything unkind about yourself. Even when we make huge mistakes that are painful to sort out or overcome, we still deserve happiness. We just need to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and begin again. If we could be as encouraging and wise to ourselves as we would be to a child learning to walk, think how much we could achieve! And it would come without the disparaging words that ultimately wreck our self esteem. Now that is a goal worthy of achieving, don’t you think? Seriously, I really want some feedback from you! Do you agree it’s time to be patient and supportive of yourself the way you would an innocent child or your most cherished loved one? You deserve your best treatment, too!

Throughout my life, I have been greatly blessed by a non-denominational prayer service called Silent Unity and by their daily devotional magazine, Daily Word. Yesterday’s message was divinely perfect for the topic I had already chosen to write about this week. Each daily message begins with an affirmation and ends with a Bible verse. Yesterday’s affirmative focus: I love the life I live now.

To live without regrets requires the discipline of awareness, the compassion to forgive and the courage to change. I am aware of my true nature – that I am a spiritual being, loved and guided by the Divine Infinite. Anytime I feel I have failed to be my best self, I remember that I am learning to live and love at the highest level of my soul’s wisdom. I ask Spirit to reveal what I might change to move closer to being my best self. I then ask for the courage to make that change.

Knowing I am doing my best, I have compassion for myself. As I learn to forgive myself, I find it easier to forgive others. I am at peace with the path that has brought me to this place of understanding. I have no regrets, and I love the life I live now.

“For once you were darkness, but now in the Lord you are light. Live as children of light.” ~Ephesians 5:8

~ Daily Word © 2011 by Unity (

So, here’s my best wisdom on this subject. This is what I’ve learned so far, that has been hugely helpful to me. I hope it is for you, too.

1. The first thing I have learned in this regard is to let go of regrets. Trust that you did your best at the time. Even if you fell short of what you know you are capable of, you still did your best given the emotions at play, the physical conditions, and managing the influences beyond your control. I know it can be hard, because most of us are usually so much harder on ourselves (silently in our minds) than we would ever be to others. Do it anyway, one day at a time. Every time you begin to beat yourself up for a mistake in the past, stop. Breathe, exhale. Start over. Decide from now on you will take a wiser approach. From now on, commit to a more loving approach.

Do your best, then ALLOW Source (God, the Universe, the Power that Creates Worlds) to do the rest. And your best is not perfection, it will vary from day to day – and that is perfectly okay.

2. The next thing I have learned – and I believe this so strongly that it has become my purpose and passion in life – is that we are intended to live a life of great joy! And to achieve that, we have been given a marvelous and gracious gift. The Power that Creates Worlds flows through us. It is the Life Force in every living thing. When we learn to harness that flow of Source Energy, mountains will be moved for us. When you learn to manage your emotions, which inform you of your vibration and indicate the direction of your FOCUS for that flow of Energy, you have cultivated the faith that moves mountains. It only takes a few moments of that laser like focus – the proverbial tiny mustard seed.

Trust that how you FEEL is vital to achieving what you want, so keep yourself in the vibration of appreciation and joy. Allow yourself to feel good even in the midst of challenges, and trust you are worthy of Benevolence.

3. Appreciate what is working beautifully in your life. Love your life as it is right now, no matter what is missing – you will attain it much easier and faster if you will do this. Appreciate what you have already achieved, and what Source Energy has already created for your well being. Enjoy all that is beautiful, all that is happy, and all that feels delicious about your life. We are taught – often unknowingly – to focus on the problems of life, rather than the solution to a problem. Of course, the problem is there. But then, so are a lot of wonderful things. Why spend most of the time on the problem? Do you believe that is how to best solve the problem? You are very wrong. Einstein is famous for his wisdom that tells us differently – he told us that we cannot solve a problem at the same level of thinking (mindset, focus, vibration) from which it was created. That wisdom took him far in life, so I am encouraging you to embrace it fully!

Choose to take charge of your life and begin creating consciously what you want as your future experiences with FOCUS. Ask yourself often during the day: Am I focusing with positive emotion on what I want to achieve?

Are you interested in learning how to implement the power of focus in your everyday life? As a Visualizing Coach, it is my greatest joy to teach people how to embrace the power of visualizing. I developed a daily visualizing process that takes only 15 minutes, and you can learn all you need to know to use it powerfully in about an hour. You can get more details about that at my website: There is a lot of free information there for you, too.

Do you struggle to manage your emotions? I have a great tool that helps, and it’s completely FREE: Your 10 Minute Toolkit to FEEL BETTER FAST! It includes a worksheet designed to help you improve your emotional state in any situation, a video teaching you how to use the worksheet, and an audio excerpt of my book: Everyday Magic & Miracles: Harnessing the Power of Visualizing with the Joy of Inspired Action. It’s all available when you subscribe to this blog, just go to the sidebar on the right, and you will see that is listed under the Table of Contents. Go to that page to get your toolkit – there is absolutely no charge.

I like to finish each post with one of the many uplifting and empowering videos by the talented Gisele Frederich, based on the Teachings of Abraham (thank you, Jerry & Esther Hicks). Today, I selected her video titled, The Feeling Place. I feel certain this will help you to grasp how important it is to embrace your emotions, and learn to enjoy them! It will give you some brilliant wisdom that will help you on the journey, should you choose to embark. Enjoy the video!

Now, let’s all go out and have more fun! Focus on beauty and joy, and yes – we will have things to overcome and problems to solve. We can still be happy, while we do that. And we will achieve even more success, and experience even more happiness. Let me know how things turn out for you, once you break free of Perfection Prison ;-) I welcome your comments.

Remember, life is precious. We are meant to live N Joy!

P.S. I have a new webinar that will be released very soon. Set Yourself Free and Live N Joy! If you would like a complimentary ticket, post a comment on the blog and I’ll send one to you. Or, if you prefer, send me an email asking for the webinar ticket:

About Renée Brown

Renée Brown is a Spiritual Mentor & Visualizing Coach who offers simple, effective ways to blend the purity of spiritual concepts with the passion of delicious worldly experiences. As a lifetime student of metaphysics, Renée has a special talent for designing Law of Attraction focus groups and tools that provide laser-like clarity, empowering you to implement concepts immediately with fast, effective results. Renée has served as Chaplain, Youth Director and Teacher for many years in the Unity church. She has facilitated training and Master Mind groups, both spiritually focused and in business. She has a strong background in sales, project management, and business management. Renée also has served as mentor to children in the public school system.

Renée Brown is the creator of VISUALIZE 123, which has been written about in Unity Magazine. After a devastating divorce, Renée designed tools and processes to help her flourish and renew her life. She developed these exact processes and tools into a system that teaches you to harness the power of focus using her visualizing self-study course which is based on Law of Attraction and the science of Vibrational Energy. This system is very simple to learn and powerfully effective. It can be implemented in less than an hour, and only requires 15 minutes per day to incorporate into your everyday life for amazing – real – results. For more information about this innovative self-improvement system, please visit her website: